Dream Burger

Humdinger Drive-In

8250 Southwest Barbur Boulevard Portland, OR 97219

Humdinger is a classic burger & milkshake type drive-in located in SW Portland on Barbur Blvd. The “deluxe” burgers here come with your choice of french fries, tater tots, chili, or cole saw as a side item, or you could get a non-deluxe burger for about a buck less.  For being such a tiny place, with an even tinier space as a kitchen, they have a surprisingly large menu.

In fact, their kitchen is as wide as the menu board itself:

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My Father’s Place

I’m not sure if My Father’s Place is considered more of a restaurant or a bar. Their menu is absolutely gigantic, giving you 4 huge pages of options, but the place is so dirty you wonder if they even give a shit about the quality of the food they serve.

The place is pretty filthy.  I walked out of the building feeling like I had just worked a full shift as a fry cook. I didn’t realize the full extent of the filth until I walked in the back, past the kitchen (I really wish I didn’t peek in), into the bathrooms. I really wonder how this place passes a health inspection.

Anyway. Onto the burgers. They have several burgers to choose from, including a Mushroom & Swiss burger, a western-style BBQ sauce & onion ring burger, and a few others I can’t quite recall. The most expensive burger was $6.75 – for a burger with bacon, cheese, and sauteed mushrooms.  I went with the standard cheeseburger with french fries.

Here’s the burger:

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Deschutes Brewery

210 NW 11th Avenue Portland, OR 97209

From their website,“The Portland Deschutes Brewery and Public House opened in Portland’s Pearl District in May 2008 and has become a destination for great beer, delicious food and a relaxed urban atmosphere. The pub’s design is similar to a Scottish pub, but with a distinct Northwest style that brings a taste of Central Oregon to the heart of Portland.”

They have a few burgers to choose from, and their menu boasts the following “Freshly-ground, hand-formed patties of Coleman Ranch’s naturally raised, hormone and antibiotic free, local beef.  Fed on Deschutes Brewery’s spent grain.”  Seems interesting enough. I went with the following:

Pub Burger – 1/3 Pound of Freshly-Ground and Hand-Formed Coleman Ranch Beef on a Fresh Brewery Baked Challah Bun with Mayo and a side of Lettuce, Onion, Tomato & Pickles.  – $10

The burgers are served with your choice of Brewery Fries, house salad, a cup of soup or Brewery Cole Slaw. I ordered the Pub Burger as is with a side of the house salad. The wait was rather long, but it was after normal dining hours so I was fine with it. However, I was not fine with what was brought out to me:

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Hot Cake House

1002 Southeast Powell Boulevard Portland, OR 97202

Hot Cake House is a 24-hour diner in SE Portland at Powell and 10th serving up standard diner fare – breakfast and burgers. They have a tiny parking lot and a fantastic neon sign.

I feel like I should mention the ordering process, as it is somewhat unusual. You walk up to the left of the menu board, directly in front of the grill, and wait in line to order. I don’t like the idea of riff-raff lingering here and getting hair/spittle/dandruff/god-knows-what-else  on the griddle where my food is prepared, but whatever.  You then place your order at the register and pay, and this is where I got lost  – if you’re paying with a credit card, there’s a “tip” section, but I wasn’t sure if I was supposed to tip or not.  The thought of a tip didn’t even cross my mind, as it is 100% counter-service or self-serve, but I left one anyway out of confusion. Then you take a number back to your table and patiently wait.

Here’s a shot of the aforementioned grill.  When I ate there for lunch on a Saturday, there were 2 visible employees.  One cook and one person taking orders, delivering plates, and cleaning tables.  If you eat here, don’t be shocked if it takes 30-40 minutes to see your plate after you order.

They have a bunch of different burgers, as well as specialty burgers and various combos. I went with the cheeseburger and a side of french fries.

My burger:

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Foster Burger

5339 SE Foster Road Portland, OR 97206

Foster Burger is a new burger bar in SE Portland near Foster & 54th. This visit was my first time in the area, and finding this place was pretty difficult. There are no signs outside of the building, and the address wasn’t viewable from the car, so I had to estimate where it should be and walk a few blocks before I actually found it. The only signifier of its existence are a few print-outs of their logo on the window pane. Once you actually find the building, you walk up a few stairs and go through a second set of doors. After you seat yourself, a server stops by and hands you a menu, which is small and to the point. They have burgers, a mushroom burger, a cod sandwich, a few sides, a salad, milkshakes, and booze. The menu description for the burger:

The Foster Burger – House ground Lindsey Ranch Beef and Sweet Briar Farms backfat, chargrilled, on a sesame roll baked next door at An Xuyen Bakery with lettuce, house-made pickles, onion, and Foster Sauce. $7.50
Add Sweet Briar Farms thick cut bacon – $2.00
Add Beecher’s 2 year old Cheddar cheese – $1.00
Add Rogue Blue cheese – $2.00
Add fried Sweet Briar Farms egg – $1.50
Add caramelized onions – $.50

I ordered the burger as-is, and waited for about 10 minutes for the burger to arrive.  The burger:

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Fenouil

900 Northwest 11th Avenue Portland, OR 97209

As their website states, Fenouil is an urban brasserie that “combines the best of classic French cuisine with the inventive use of flavors and ingredients from nearby European countries.”  I have heard they have a pretty amazing happy hour, so I decided to try it out for myself. Their happy hour menu offers more variety than most, and at 50% of the normal menu price.  The menu listing for the burger:

Hamburger Parisien – gruyere cheese. caramelized onions. tomatoes. dijon aioli. pommes frites or salad
with Carlton Farms bacon 14.

I ordered it as is with fries.  I ordered some cheap drinks and eagerly anticipated the arrival of my burger.

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Vita Cafe

3023 NE Alberta Street Portland, OR 97211

Vita Cafe is a restaurant in NE Portland specializing in vegetarian/vegan fare. Their tagline:

“Since 1999, Vita Café has been serving the community with wholesome meals at a fair price. Our restaurant serves primarily vegetarian and vegan fare as well as free range, all natural, hormone free meats and eggs. We choose to use local and organic products as much as possible and strive to reduce our overall impact on the environment by focusing on using sustainable business practices.”

I think their menu is completely vegan/vegetarian with the exception of a beef burger. My initial thinking was “Whoa, this burger must be really good then!” So I already felt inclined to order it. The menu listing:

BURGERS:  vegan veggie burger  or free range, hormone free quarter pound beef – $5.50.  ~ add cheese +$1, add vegan cheese sheet of plastic +$1.5, or add tempeh ‘fakin’ or peppered-bacon +$1

I asked the server if I should go with the burger or some other dish that seemed good, and she said she didn’t eat meat but hears customers rave about the burger constantly.  So I went ahead and ordered the burger with cheddar cheese and a side of fries.

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