Dream Burger

Rogue Brew Pub & Eatery

31500 NW Commercial Street North Plains, Oregon 97133

First thing’s first:  this place has no connection with the “other” Rogue known around Portland

Intro, courtesy of their comic sans/.gif-filled website:  Great food, microbrews, and music are waiting for you in historic downtown North Plains, just 19 miles west of Portland, Oregon. We use natural, fresh and local produce and meat in our food, and our rotating micro-brews can’t be beat. On Fridays, you’ll find some of Portland’s best musical talent playing in our intimate setting.

They have a full page of their menu dedicated to burgers, which all include chips and a pickle by default.  You can upgrade your side to french fries or onion rings for an additional fee.  I ordered the following:

The Rogue Cheeseburger – A 1/3 lb. ground beef patty on a grilled bun with cheese, lettuce, tomato, onion and mayonnaise.  $5.50

The wait was really short, which was great because I was absolutely starving.  Great timing, Rogue!

And an alternate image for all those who are into grainy low-definition color-corrected burger photos:

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Red Mill Burgers

1613 W Dravus Street Seattle, WA 98119

Red Mill Burgers has 2 locations in Seattle and seemingly a great deal of hype surrounding them.  Some samples:

-“One of the 20 Hamburgers You Must Eat Before You Die” – The Oprah Show

-Winner, “Best Burger in Seattle” -  Seattle Weekly, 10 years in a row

-Winner, “Best Onion Rings in the U.S.” – GQ Magazine

The Oprah quote alone was enough to make me put it on my list for my trip to Seattle.

I was pretty impressed with their menu board.  I like when restaurants actually show you the different sizes of sides and drinks, and they also included detailed descriptions of exactly what comes on each item.  I always feel like an ass when I request no onion by default and the cashier sassily replies “well, they don’t come with onion” and then I sigh quietly to myself and proceed with the transaction.

The burgers are 1/4 lb. flame-broiled patties.  I went with the deluxe with cheese and a side of onion rings:

Red Mill Deluxe w/ Cheese – American Cheese, Lettuce, Tomato, Pickle, Red Onion, Mill Sauce

The wait wasn’t bad given the amount of guests in the building for the lunch rush.  I also had a nice view of their kitchen, specifically a giant tower of bacon.  Please click the image below to view it in full size to truly appreciate the GIANT FUCKING TOWER OF BACON:

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Hoss’s Steak and Sea House

Hoss’s Steak and Sea House is a family restaurant chain with 38 locations in Pennsylvania and West Virginia.  There are two selling points of Hoss’s: the ruse of having a great steak, and the “fresh and wholesome” soup & salad bar – with homemade soups, just-baked breads, fresh-cut fruit, a bunch of desserts, and soft-serve ice cream. The latter point is pretty sweet.

Hoss’s is unique, as you order your food from a cashier the minute you walk in. I love this aspect.

After you order, the hostess will direct you to your table and you can immediately start eating, if you ordered the salad bar.

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Little Big Burger

122 NW 10th Avenue Portland, OR 97209

Little Big Burger is an upscale burger joint in Portland, OR opened by Micah Camden (owner of Yakuza Lounge, Beast, and D.O.C) and is located between NW Couch and NW Davis.

The menu is limited to burgers & fries, a la In-N-Out, but also offers floats, beer, and a veggie burger option.  The burger description:

lbb burgers are made with a 1/4 lb. of cascade natural beef, local brioche buns, local cheeses, organic veggies, and camden’s catsup.

A cheeseburger will run you $3.75, with choices of cheeses being Cheddar, Chevre, Swiss, or Bleu.  You order at the counter, take note of your number on the receipt, and take a seat.  For seating, there is a long counter that faces the grill. It’s nice to pass the wait time by watching the cooks prepare your burger right in front of you.  The view from the counter:

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Buffalo Gap Saloon & Eatery

6835 SW Macadam Avenue Portland, OR 97219

Buffalo Gap is a traditional American sports bar type establishment in SW Portland at Macadam and California, and, despite the name, is not a second-hand clothing store that solely sells Gap apparel.  Their menu has a lot of variety and a dedicated section for burgers.  You can take a look at their burger options by moving closer to your monitor and squinting at this tiny heavily pixelated graphic, courtesy of their website:

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The Pumpkin Patch

16525 NW Gillihan Road Portland, OR 97231

Q:  What happens when you’re freezing cold, absolutely starving, and bored and frustrated from standing in a non-moving line for over an hour while surrounded by tweens?

A:  You think it’s a good idea to buy a burger from a dirty shack on a farm with a corn maze.

I never really considered eating here, but while I was checking out their website, the description of the cafe seemed appealing enough: “Since we are the only place on the Island to get fresh home cookin’, this feature alone keeps folks coming back to the farm! Uncle Dennis’ to-die-for burgers are worth the drive to the country, but Pumpkin Patch customers also enjoy October Festival sausages, fresh mouth-watering corn-on-the-cob (right from the field, of course!), healthy gardenburgers™, cheesy nachos, plump juicy hot dogs, and much more!”

The burger description:

Hamburger – $3.25 – A Quarter pound pattie with fresh lettuce, tomato, pickles and our special sauce!!

They also have a cheeseburger, but since the cheese was unspecified (even when I asked the cashier) I decided to opt for the hamburger instead.  After I ordered, I received a number and stood off to the side to wait. Apparently Uncle Dennis can only cook up one burger at a time, because the wait took fucking FOREVER.  After a hellishly long wait, I finally got to pick up this adorably wrapped gem:

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Halloween & Burgers

I love restaurants that paint burger-themed imagery on their windows.  I also love Halloween, so the combination of the two is even better – maybe even unbeatable..?

I stopped by Skyline again this weekend for a burger and was ToTaLLy PsYcHeD to see this on their windows:

There was also a window featuring the Creature from the Black Lagoon, but no burger was involved so it didn’t make the cut.

Send in your favorite burger window art! Email submissions to ashley at dream-burger.com