Red Robin
175 E. Waterfront Drive Homestead, PA 15120
Prior to roughly a year ago, Red Robin was considered my go-to guilty pleasure when I wanted a good and greasy cheeseburger and fries. Until.. “The Incident” happened.
The Incident being the time when I discovered a long, thick, artificial black hair that had droplets of grease attached to it on my plate. The hair was wrapped around a french fry at the bottom of the pile I had been eating, and I only discovered this hair 3/4ths of the way into my meal. My body immediately shut down and I had to struggle to hold back vomiting up my intestines until the check arrived and I was out of the building.
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(Artist Rendering)
That’s what comes to mind for me when I think of Red Robin. Needless to say, I haven’t gone back to Red Robin since then, until they lured me back with a coupon for a free burger on my birthday. As I’ve stated before, I fucking love value. So much so that I went back into a restaurant that I swore off just because they offered me a free cheeseburger.
For those that are unfamiliar, Red Robin is a casual dining chain that features tons of sodium-enriched specialty burgers with various shit on them. You can substitute the beef burger for chicken, a veggie patty, or a Boca burger for no additional charge. I ordered my standby, the Whiskey River BBQ. The description:
Whiskey River® BBQ Burger
Basted with our signature Whiskey River® BBQ Sauce and lasso’d together with Cheddar cheese, crispy onion straws, lettuce, tomatoes & mayo. $9.29
The burgers also come with unlimited bland steak fries, a real perk for those who are into quantity over quality. I noticed since I’ve been here that they raised the prices about a dollar, probably due to the economy. We are in a recession, you know. Luckily, I was paying with this coupon so I was unaffected by the price hike.
Anyway, after a very minimal wait, my plastic tray lined with wax paper arrived.
This burger is awesome for the first 2 or 3 bites. Then you realize how shitty the quality of virtually every burger component is, then you begin to wonder why you decided to eat here. You keep eating, and continue to regret that decision. And it gets worse with each bite. That’s the Red Robin experience.
Burger Ratings:
Burger: 3
I can’t rate this burger any higher than a 3 based on the quality of ingredients and the fact that I feel sick to the point of paralysis hours after eating a meal here.
Side: 1
By far, these are the worst fucking french fries any restaurant could ever offer. They are worse than microwaving a bag of frozen Ore-Ida brand crinkle cut french fries, letting them sit out a week, and re-microwaving them again. Fuck this.
Environment: 6
I actually like the feel of the restaurant. It’s bright and clean, there are cheeseburgers randomly inserted into popular images, and there are free balloons.
Value: 3
$10 for a shitty burger and even shittier fries. But hey, they are unlimited, so that is somewhat of a value.
OVERALL BURGER REVIEW:
Red Robin Gourmet Burgers
175 E. Waterfront Drive Homestead, PA 15120
(412) 461.2044
Tags: red robin
Listed Under: 2 - Why does this exist