Applebee’s
5503 Milan Road Sandusky, OH 44870
Applebee’s boasts being the country’s largest casual dining leader with having over 1,600 stores in 49 states. I’ve only eaten here a few times whenever my parents wanted to go out “someplace nice” and I don’t think I’ve ever ordered a burger. I have never in my life felt the need to eat at Applebee’s, but I was ravenously hungry after leaving Cedar Point and this was the first place I saw. Why not, right?
The menu has a bunch of specialty burgers with different shit on them, and this notice is at the top of the page:
We are proud to serve burgers crafted from 100% USDA-inspected ground beef. All burger patties (except the Brewtus Burger and Sliders) are grilled to your choice of pink or no-pink.
I found this interesting. Instead of telling them how exactly I’d like the burger cooked, I only have the choice of “pink” or “no-pink.” I ordered the Cowboy Burger with “pink”. Here’s the actual menu description:
I was really hungry and in the mood for something a little different than just a cheeseburger. It seemed like a really good idea at the time. After a short wait, my plate arrived.
I really like the idea of fried onion/barbecue sauce/bacon as toppings. After this burger, I think fried onion straws instead of a singular onion ring is a much better move. That way you can get the taste in each bite, and it’s much easier to eat. Another thing – the barbecue sauce was wayyyy too sweet. Actually, this may have been a good thing in this case since the beef was bland and overly salty. So was the bacon. And the onion ring.
I’m not sure what exactly was to blame for this – but about 5 bites in, my body just said “no.” I instantly felt bloated and nauseous, unable to continue eating. The kicker to this was the long wait for my server to come over and present the check so I could pay for it.
Burger Ratings:
Burger: 2
This burger is absolutely awesome until you actually bite into it. It is essentially a burger-shaped salt lick that will make you ill for hours afterward.
Side: 1
Applebee’s should be ashamed to serve these. Bland, overly salty (I gues that’s a recurring theme), and soggy. Don’t bother.
Environment: 5
This place is your standard American-fare chain restaurant. Clean and comfortable, with shit plastered all over the walls and tv’s everywhere to divert your attention and not actually have to talk to the people you’re with. Works for me.
Value: -3
Still shocked I paid $10 to ruin my body as much as this burger did.
OVERALL BURGER REVIEW:
Applebee's Neighborhood Grill & Bar
5503 Milan Road Sandusky, OH 44870
(419) 627.2777
Tags: applebee's, cedar point, chain restaurants, intestinal problems, no-pink, pink
Listed Under: 1 - Fuck This.