Fire On The Mountain
1706 East Burnside Street, Portland, OR 97214
Fire on the Mountain is a restaurant at East Burnside & 17th serving a wide variety of chicken products, burgers, and other fried foods. They also have a North Interstate location, which is smaller in size but has a similar menu.
The set up is kind of confusing if you’ve never been there before. As soon as you walk in, there is a counter where you can check out the menu and order your food. If you’re eating inside, you take a number and place it on your table. There is no hostess or waitstaff, so you seat yourself – and if it’s busy, it’s a good idea to grab a table prior to ordering. At the counter, you can sample any of their wing sauces with a piece of celery prior to ordering and committing yourself to a sauce you’ve never tried before.
Anyway, I’ve eaten wings here a bunch of times and have always thoroughly enjoyed them, so I figure I should try out the burger. They offer a regular burger and a bison burger with the following descriptions:
Basic Burger – A half pound of all natural Painted Hills beef with lettuce, tomato, onion and garlic mayo. $7.95
Bison Burger – A half pound of all natural, free range bison with lettuce, tomato, onion and garlic mayo. $9.95
The burgers are served with fresh cut fries, but you can substitute potato salad or chili for an additional $0.95. I ordered the Bison Burger with fries and added cheddar cheese (+ $.50). The wait was pretty short, and after a few minutes the cashier brought over this plate:
Hopefully the first thing that catches your eye is the giant fucking container of mayonnaise. I was shocked at just how large the portion of mayonnaise was, but then I figured it was probably just a pre-portioned container they had tons of sitting in the back and used it instead of filling up a smaller one to save time.. BUT THEN I wondered why they would have such large potions of mayo in the first place? What product do they serve this with on the side? WHY?!
Look at that bun to burger ratio. The burger seems really good, but it’s just …not. At all. As soon as I took the first bite I just became really mad and disappointed in myself for trying something new. The bun was so overly toasted that it gave off a strong odor that burnt things usually do.
In short: Unless you love mayonnaise and burnt bread, stick with the wings.
Burger Ratings:
Burger: 3
Total disappointment. I was expecting much, much more from this place, even more so with the steep prices for a burger. The bun was burnt and dry, the beef was dry, and overall it just wasn’t even worth eating. But hey, I had plenty of mayo to go with it!
Side: 8
I love the french fries here. They were the only edible item on my plate – totally delicious!
Environment: 6
The environment at Fire on the Mountain is that of most every other wing place. Sports on TV, bar seating, picnic tables, etc. One thing I don’t like is how crowded it gets and when the number of incoming patrons exceeds the available seating. I don’t like people hovering near my table waiting for me to get up, or hovering near someone elses table and waiting for them to get up.
Value: 2
I could probably even rate this as a 1, but that would be too over the top. I really like this place, but the burger is just too expensive for how fucking boring it is. To make it even worse, I was watching other patrons happily eating delicious wings while I forced down a shitty overpriced burger.
Wings: 10
Don’t order anything else.
OVERALL BURGER REVIEW:
Fire on the Mountain
1706 East Burnside Street, Portland, OR 97214
(503) 230.9464
Tags: fire on the mountain, mayonnaise lovers, portland, SE, wings only
Listed Under: 3 - Disappointing