Vita Cafe
3023 NE Alberta Street Portland, OR 97211
Vita Cafe is a restaurant in NE Portland specializing in vegetarian/vegan fare. Their tagline:
“Since 1999, Vita Café has been serving the community with wholesome meals at a fair price. Our restaurant serves primarily vegetarian and vegan fare as well as free range, all natural, hormone free meats and eggs. We choose to use local and organic products as much as possible and strive to reduce our overall impact on the environment by focusing on using sustainable business practices.”
I think their menu is completely vegan/vegetarian with the exception of a beef burger. My initial thinking was “Whoa, this burger must be really good then!” So I already felt inclined to order it. The menu listing:
BURGERS: vegan veggie burger or free range, hormone free quarter pound beef – $5.50. ~ add cheese +$1, add vegan cheese sheet of plastic +$1.5, or add tempeh ‘fakin’ or peppered-bacon +$1
I asked the server if I should go with the burger or some other dish that seemed good, and she said she didn’t eat meat but hears customers rave about the burger constantly. So I went ahead and ordered the burger with cheddar cheese and a side of fries.
The presentation is pretty nice. Everything looks fresh and colorful. However, that is about the only positive thing I can say about it. This burger would have been 100% better had I just taken the fucking beef out and eaten a bun with clumps of melted cheese, pickles, lettuce, and tomato.
I understand that a beef burger cooked at a restaurant specializing in non-beef products probably wouldn’t be good. If they didn’t have a beef burger on the menu, I wouldn’t have ordered it, and would have ordered something else. I just don’t get why restaurants that cater towards non-meat eaters even offer meat products at all. I mean, I get it.. places like this probably have vegetarian/vegan cooks, who probably hate touching beef and watching it simmer and bubble on a grill, so they are more than likely to over-cook the fuck out of it. Just don’t even bother with a beef burger if you aren’t going to do it right.
Burger Ratings:
Burger: 2
The “hormone-free quarter pound beef” patty could have very well been soy, seitan, taco bell beef, or a garden burger, or really any product (even a crushed up bun) THROWN INTO A FIRE, taken out with tongs, and placed onto a bun. My point is- it doesn’t fucking matter what the patty was made of because it tasted like NOTHING. It was so overcooked and bland I am getting mad mentally re-experiencing the moment in my life where I consumed this item. The only thing stopping me from rating it a 1 is the addition of pickles. I really like it when pickle chips are served with my burger – so thanks, Vita Cafe! Loved your pickles.
Side: 4
The $2.50 “side of fries” was actually a very large basket, so that was a bonus. However, I wasn’t too into them and only ate about 1/4 of the giant portion, as they tasted more like baked potato slices instead of crisp and delicious fried pieces of heaven. Whatever.
Environment: 5
The environment of Vita Cafe is kind of weird. To be honest, I can’t actually remember much other than feeling like I was sitting in the dining area at the Pittsburgh Whole Foods. Take that however you want.
Value: 3
A burger with cheese and a side of fries came out to $9. If the burger in any way tasted remotely like a burger, I would say this is expensive. Given that it did not, I would say this is outrageous. Don’t get me wrong, Vita Cafe seems like a really nice restaurant and I will probably be back for brunch in the near future, but I just won’t be eating a burger there ever again.
OVERALL BURGER REVIEW:
Vita Cafe
3023 NE Alberta Street Portland, OR 97211
(503) 335.8233
Tags: NE, portland, vegan-only, vita cafe
Listed Under: 2 - Why does this exist