Horse Brass Pub

The Horse Brass Pub is an authentic British restaurant & pub  in SE Portland at the intersection of Belmont and 45th. Their website claims “everything on the menu is made the old-fashioned way, using the freshest ingredients.” They offer a wide of assortment of British pub food and an insanely extensive,  frequently changing beer selection. The menu description for the burger:

BEEF BURGER – A 1/3 lb. charbroiled patty of fresh ground chuck.  Served on a toasted sesame bun with your choice of Swiss, Cheddar or American cheese.  Served w/ chips and pickle.

You could also substitute chips for your choice of  fries, coleslaw, potato salad or a tossed salad for an additional $1.99.  I ordered the “BEEF BURGER” as is with Cheddar cheese. The wait was standard, and left me plenty of time to observe the dust patterns formed on all the junk that is covering the walls.  The burger:

And a bun-on shot:

Great burger, enjoyable environment, free darts, & a killer beer selection at a reasonable price – the only thing lacking is cleanliness.

Burger Ratings:

Burger: 7

The burger at Horse Brass is pretty good. I wasn’t into the special sauce or whatever the hell it was that they slathered all over the bottom bun -  I hate it when places sneak their sauce on my burger without even mentioning it in the menu description. Once I removed most of it with my knife, the burger was delicious.

Side: 4

The burger here  comes with potato chips by default, or you can upgrade to french fries or cole slaw or whatever for an added cost.  These chips were tolerable, and could have been a lot better had they been seasoned.  Realistically, I’d take a handful of Ruffles over these plain, boring house-made chips.

Environment: 5

Horse Brass Pub is yet another restaurant on the “shit on the walls” list , but unfortunately they are in the “dust-covered shit on the walls” camp. I understand that there’s a relatively low chance of any of the dust clumps coming into contact with my food, but any restaurant owner should know it’s unacceptable to have giant balls of dust not only on top of all the knick-kacks and photos on the walls, but also DANGLING A FEW FEET ABOVE MY PLATE FROM THE CEILING FAN – and actually swirling around in circles as the fan blows them! Have the servers spend an extra five minutes per shift wiping this shit off at the end of the night, it will pay off. Other than the dust, I really like the layout and feel of the interior.  I’m upping the score to a 5 due to the several photos of Princess Diana on the walls.

Value: 8

All things considered, the value is pretty good.  I’m a fan anytime I can get a  good cheeseburger and a side under $8.

4534 Southeast Belmont Street Portland, OR 97215 \\ (503) 232.2202

Tags: dust-covered shit on the walls, horse brass pub, portland, pubz, sauce fake-out, SE

Listed Under: 7 - Real Good