Dream Burger

Holman’s Restaurant

15 SE 28th Ave Portland, OR 97214

Holman’s Restaurant is a dive bar (or not – they don’t have PBR on tap) in SE Portland at 28th and Burnside.  The outside doesn’t seem too inviting, and the only reason why I even ate here was because it was raining and 3 other restaurants didn’t have any open tables.  I would say the menu has a nice selection considering it’s a bar, but the pricing is a bit high for food. There were 4 or 5 specialty burgers available, as well as a build-your-own-burger option. A burger with lettuce and onion starts out at $5.50. I added cheddar cheese ($1.00) and tomato ($0.50) and a side of french fries ($1.95).  Ten minutes later, my plate arrived:

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Hopworks Urban Brewery

2944 SE Powell Boulevard Portland, OR 97202

Hopworks Urban Brewery Portland’s first Eco-Brewpub, offering “all organic handcrafted beers, fresh local ingredients, and a sustainable building with a relaxed and casual atmosphere.”  The place is pretty big and has parking for seventy cars, eight motorcycles and up to fifty bikes – which is a good call since every time I drive past, the place seems absolutely packed. There are 4 areas within HUB – the bar area (with bicycle frames strung across the bar itself), a family-friendly section with play area (A+ for keeping screaming obnoxious children out of my sight), a banquent mezzanine, and an outdoor beer-garden. They have a nice selection of beer on tap, and a very extensive menu. I can probably hype this up more, but all I really care about is the cheeseburger:

Brewers Burger – 1/2 Pound beef patty. Served on a Tillamook cheddar cheese & onion bun w/ lettuce, tomato, red onion & mayonnaise.
The Standard $8.75
Tillamook cheddar, provolone, or Rogue River blue cheese $9.50
ESBBQ, bacon & Tillamook cheddar $10.75
Add bacon or avocado $1.50

They are are served with “your choice of house made potato chips, organic thick-cut french fries, house salad or soup of your choice.” I ordered a burger with cheddar cooked Medium with a side of “thick-cut french fries.” I am adding quotes around this horseshit because check out what HUB really means by that:

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Pickle Barrel

1301 E Carson Street Pittsburgh, PA 15203

The Pickle Barrel, is located on Pittsburgh’s South side, and is well known for its incredible low prices and consequently its appeal to those on a budget. Many times, usually when I am strapped for cash, i find myself thinking ” It can’t be that bad.” If there is one thing I pride myself, it is on not being wrong. This is one time where I just have to swallow my pride (after swallowing a mysterious patty marketed as beef) and say yes, it can be this bad.

I ordered a combination meal and received a double cheeseburger (ketchup, mayo, onions, and tomato), french fries, and a 20oz drink in a Styrofoam cup (Coke). It is nearly impossible for me to include a menu description as I ordered from a piece of poster board listing very straight forward options with no descriptors. Roughly 8 minutes later I was confronted with this basket of value:

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Under Wonder Lounge

128 NE Russell Street Portland, OR 97212

Under Wonder Lounge is a restaurant/bar located, as you would guess, underneath the Wonder Ballroom. The drinks are cheaper than they are upstairs, and I was hungry, so I decided to check it out. Their small menu consists of two sections, Under $5 and Under $10.  Here’s the menu description of their burger:

Wonderburger 8.00
Choice of flame-grilled all beef or traditional Garden Burger ($7) patty
Choice of cheddar or Swiss cheese. Served with lettuce, tomato, red onion and garlic aioli. Add smoked bacon $1

I ordered the beef (of course) burger with cheddar, cooked Medium with a side salad and a large side of Russell Street Fries ($3).  I probably definitely should have just went with fries as a side, seeing as whenever I order a salad, the lettuce only serves as a tool to hold ranch dressing en route to my mouth. This practice is only one step away from eating ranch dressing with a spoon, and two steps away from drinking it from a bottle.

Anyway. The wait was really short despite the place being rather crowded due to the show going on upstairs.  The burger:

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Skyline Restaurant

1313 NW Skyline Boulevard Portland, OR 97229

Skyline Restaurant is an old-fashioned drive-in located right at the corner of a 4-way intersection in NE Portland . It’s about a 15 minute drive out of the city, but is totally worth the trip. They are very well-known for their tasty old-fashioned burgers and shakes. Their menu is filled with things you would expect from a drive-in, including a nice variety of burgers.  I ordered the Skyline Burger, their standard cheeseburger.

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Alameda Brew House

4765 NE Fremont Street Portland, OR 97213

Alameda Brew House is a brewpub in NE Portland, preparing all of their menu items in-house. They have a few burgers on the menu, including a veggie burger that was ranked 2nd best by Portland Monthly Magazine (but who gives a shit about veggie burgers?).  The menu description of the burger – the non-vegetarian, infinitely more delicious version:

SEVEN-BARREL BURGER

Our seasoned hand pressed ground chuck 1/2 lb. burger served on a fresh bun with lettuce, tomato, and red onion. Add thick cut peppered bacon, cheese, avocado, egg, mushrooms or peppers for an additional .50 per item

I ordered it as-is cooked Medium. The wait time was reasonable, and after 10 or so minutes my plate arrived.

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Goodfoot Pub & Lounge

Goodfoot is a bar/music venue/restaurant/art gallery (so they claim) located in SE Portland at Stark and 29th.  The menu includes a nice variety of items, including wraps, burritos, sandwiches, salads, and most importantly.. a burger. The burger is served on a Grand Central bun with lettuce, tomato, onions, and pickle on the side. They come with chips by default, but you could substitute for french fries for $1, or a side salad for $1.50.  I went with the burger with cheddar cheese and french fries. The menu description:

Black Angus Hamburger $5.50
1/3 Lb all-natural Black Angus beef patties served with roasted garlic aioli. Build your own burger: Add cheddar cheese, pepperjack cheese, bacon, egg for 50 cents each

When I asked how they cook their burgers, they said “very well-done.” I then asked if I could possibly get it cooked medium, and but just said they’d make sure it wasn’t burnt. At this point I immediately lowered my expectations, ordered a few beers and took a seat in the back.  The wait was about 15 minutes, but I didn’t mind.

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